But if you don't believe me, go look for yourself.
Anyways, here's my description.
It's a punching bag, used in the Greco-Roman period (Circa 10 B.C.- 52 A.D.)
to train fighting Syrian Aadrvarks. In detail, it was often tied to a
fast moving chariot, after which the Aardvarks must chase, only to be caught
up by the very UFO that crashlanded a millenium and a half later in Roswell,
NM. It was meant to increase agility. Unfortunately, it took the Romans
about 157 cubits and 4 ticks on the sundial before they realized that the
aliens weren't going to bring it back. That's the real reason Brutus
stabbed Julius Caesar. Then the aliens experimented on the package for a few
hundred years. Somehow it ended up in Great Britain, and became pierced by a
sword. Nobody could remove the sword, and in history, it has been confused
with a rock (old english didn't really have a word for "Whatchamacallit.")
Then, a young boy named Arthur pulled it from the rock one day, and
apparently every went bonkers over the fact that he had pulled
it out, so they made him king. In the confusion, the aliens managed to
abduct it again. Fast tracking to 1492, Columbus discovered it floating in
the water nearby his ship, the Santa Maria. He picked it up, and found that
it had a certain magical effect, somehow drawing them to India, or as we
know now, America. Not 30 minutes later, the lookout spotted land. Nobody
knows how the aliens got it this time. A few hundred years later, the
CIA found the package aboard the UFO. It was in Area 51, until Bigfoot
escaped with it last year. The whereabouts were unknown until KGRT found it
in their closet, not knowing what it was they held a contest. I'm sure they
didn't expect that they'd get this guess, assuming they read this far.
Crazy, right? Yeah, I have too much free time, oh well.